The Dictionary of
Smaggily Words
Author’s note:
I am not saying these words don’t exist, simply that if they do, this is how I choose to use them.
So there.
Empracticate (Verb) - To envision being practical when in reality, you're an idle beggar.
Constopulation (Noun) [U] - A throng of confusion that overcomes one to such an extent, it's like the entire population of a country purposely trying to make you muddle-headed.
Smaggily (Adjective) Definitionless. A word that doesn't really have a meaning, but a feeling deep in the belly will indicate the right time to use it. Absolutely not a negative word, however, it can be used in negative sentences for comic relief.
Idondalond (Verb) - to hit the ground at high rate of speed— completely inside out.
Zoink (Verb) - To go from A to B like a gnat hyped up on disco music attached to a million hairdryers.
Schtoink (Verb) - To take something from someone so quickly, they forget who they are for a sec.
Fphna (Onomatopoeia) - To make a sound like a bald-headed man sneezing into a trumpet.
Saah (Interjection) – An exclamation you make when you hurt yourself whist thinking about the letter S.
Pythagoras’ Luncheon Gumption (Noun Phrase) - Having the courage to uphold the sacred geometry of cutlery during lunch.
Splodgenious (Adjective) – A state of such intense nervousness that even an ant farting would cause catastrophic panic.
Cantabulation (Noun) – The methodical documenting of useless information because you lack common sense.
Cantabulate (Verb) – See Cantabulation.
Discantabulation (Noun) – The ignorance of useful information out of sheer pig-headedness.
Discantabulate (Verb) – See Discantabulation.
Schmoozy (Adjective) – A feeling of being so cozy and comfortable, you could hug a cow.
Schwoozy (Adjective) – When you laugh so much you feel the need to start spinning around backwards.
Flimgle (Verb) - The little wiggle you do when standing on something flimsy.
Humeracy (Noun) [U] - Calculated humor between best friends that multiplies irritation in others.
Humerical (Adjective) - See Humeracy.
Lyxoyxoy (Noun) [U] - (Pronounced Lih-shoy-shoy) A sudden bout of dizziness that arises, seemingly for no reason.
Cemiphyicefecemimimuey (Noun) [U] - The feeling you get halfway through reading a difficult word you thought you could pronounce, but actually can't.
Escifricious (Noun) – The delicious feeling of freedom when you finally leave a party you were forced to attend but didn’t want to go to.
Fushh! (Imperative) – What you say to a fusspot when you want them to shut up.
Gasonophobia (Noun) – The fear of constantly thinking you’ve left the gas on at home.
Fustistis (Noun) – The annoyance felt after the body has already begun its upwards ascent following a failed retrieval of an object on the floor.
Moo-ism (Noun) – An affliction that compels a person to inexplicably start mooing like a cow.
Isofusion (Noun) – The blinking stare of bewilderment a group of people experience at the same time for the same reason.
Schonniker (Noun) – An uppercut to one’s hooter.
Schnootitty (Adjective) – Acting posh when in reality, you are broke.
Wongle (Noun) - When your brain gets all knotted up with several things you were thinking about at once, which have combined to make a stream of thought that's so incomprehensible, it leaves you open mouthed, looking brain dead.
Topakopfia (Noun) - A peculiar syndrome where the person afflicted is compelled to place objects on the head of a person within arms-reach.
Dutie (Noun) - A slightly snobbish variant of duty. Used to make one seem more important than one is. Its misspelling is purposely constructed to annoy smartalecs who will think it's a typo.
Blowy Wind of Dutie Force (Noun Phrase) - When someone waxes lyrical about nonsense to make themselves sound more important than they are. Often against other people's will.
Elatranslucent (Adjective) - When someone pretends they're invisible but in reality, everybody can clearly see them.
Pantel (Noun) - pronounced (Pan-Tel-i) - An arrogant know-it-all who gets satisfaction from correcting others.
Effisophical (Adjective) - The mistaken belief that thinking about putting effort into something actually equates to putting the effort in.
Otherwayism (Noun) - When you are convinced you knew the open end if the garbage bag was this side all along. Even though you tried the other way first.
Stoingle (Verb, Adjective) - When an idea leaps into you mind so quickly, you have to move back a couple of steps just to comprehend it.
Erub (Verb) – To blush, go red, be embarrassed.
Erubemit (Verb, Noun) – When you blush so hard, everyone around you feels it.
Pacerubemit (Verb) – A blush so intense, you pass it on to people nearby.
Smirkerubemit (Verb, Noun) – The act of enjoying another person’s intense embarrassment.
Sweenitty (Adjective) – When you are so excited you have to grit your teeth and push your fists into your cheeks then make a sound like a mouse pretending to be a boiling kettle.
Sloyance (Noun) – The feeling of being intensely annoyed at seeing another person sleeping joyfully while you have to be up and awake.
Skaggy (Adjective) – Something that’s thoroughly dirty and whiffy. Not enough to make you sick but pungent enough to make you question the life choices that lead you to be in such close proximity to such a skaggy thing.
Smappiworrily (Adverb) – to smile so wide, you worry your mouth might fall off.
Schmoff (Verb) – When you eat so fast and stuff your mouth with so much food, you look like a starving cow grazing in a meadow of tall grass.
Messerudite (Noun) – An incredibly messy and disorganized educator who leaves his students with fragmented and useless knowledge.
Unmesserudite (Noun) – The unfortunate educator who has to undo the messy and chaotic education left behind by a messerudite.
Disunmesserudite (Noun) – An educator who flatly refuses to fix the chaotic mess left behind by a messerudite.
Antidisunmesserudite (Noun) – One who is strongly opposed to educators who refuse to fix the chaotic mess of a messerudite.
Cattyvism (Noun) – Cats the look like the cats of cavemen.
Enorminous (Adjective) – Something that’s really big.
Elisphurial (Adjective) – This word has no meaning. It only serves one purpose: to worm out fake, pretentious people in art galleries. If they question your meaning, they are probably legitimate. If not, hit them with something soft. Then run away.